I know a few people who have been married and divorced already, and their marriages were as long as celebrity marriages. Heck, I even know one woman who , at 27 has been married and divorced TWICE. So - how do you make a marriage last? I must be an expert.
Stop trying to be perfect. You don't have to prove to anyone but yourselves that you're happy and in love. If your neighbours hear me yelling once in a while in the heat of an argument, I don't get embarrassed or worried about what they might think. I figure , it just shows that we're normal , not perfect.
Get dressed up for each other. Even if you're just going to buy a new tree for the backyard, put some effort into how you look. Not for other people out there, but for each other. Remember when you were first dating, and you'd actually spend 30 mins or more prepping to go out? picking an outfit, doing makeup {or hair for the men!} shaving...the works? I would do that even if we were just going for chicken wings! ....and I still do it today. Of course when I'm home we lounge, I don't always wear makeup or do my hair, but often times I do.
Keep dates exciting. Make time to be spontaneous. It's so easy to forget about the things we once loved to do , either alone or together. Even if you have kids, book the sitter, drop them off at grandmas- and take a weekend to yourselves to just, be. You don't even have to go far, just be at home all by yourselves and just do non-kid centred things for even just one day! Try something new together, go to an amusement park and ride all the rollercoasters- just have fun together. I hope we get to do this , this summer. I want to go to an amusement park again, and being alone with hubs there would be amazing.
Remember important dates. Remember the big ones. Remember the little ones. I don't mean appointments or meetings, of course those are important to remember too- but I mean birthdays, anniversaries, milestones, etc. If you forget an important date even once, it will take you a lifetime to redeem. My dad has learned this time and time again....but still never remembers the important dates- and I still hear about it, All. The. Time.
Appreciate your differences. Understand that you're two different people with different interests, some different friends . Take time to spend time with your different circles of friends doing the things you enjoy doing. After 10yrs together, husband and I don't have many seperate friends but we do have a few so we spend time with them. Husband plays poker once in a while with the boys, I sent them paintballing and to the cottage one weekend, he goes for drinks once a month {recently} with old friends from university and tonight they're going to play ping pong or something like that. I need to start putting more time on the calendar for ME to enjoy doing things with my friends but it's important for us all to do that.
Love each other. You don't have to like each other all the time, because lets face it- there are things about your other half that irritate the crap out of you. And vice versa I'm sure. If you are sitting there reading this thinking " pshh...I don't know what she's talking about, I love every single thing about my husband/wife." you're lying to yourself, and the rest of the world. But love each other. Love each other through thick and thin, even if you're upset with each other for whatever reason- still stand beside your husband/wife and still tell them that you love them. Still look at each other with love in your eyes and hearts. Hold hands. Sit beside each other on the couch.
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| the day we signed our lives to each other. |
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