Madison Olivia 8-20-2008

4 years ago today, I gave birth to my princess Madison. She came 3 weeks ahead of time, but was fierce and mighty.

The evening before her birth, I got the sudden urge to have a long hot bubble bath, shave my legs, paint my toe I remember looking my late grammy {who had passed the night of my wedding after spending some time in a coma from a fall} directly in the eyes and she said "be calm". I shot up , sat straight as a board the second she left my view- woke up. Then I had my first contraction. This was amazing, she had met Mason a few times and I have some great photos of her with him- but I really wanted her to know about Madison, and I feel like she knows. Just proves to me that she's always watching, from her lawn chair on the front lawn waiting for me to arrive , just like she used to. { I couldn't tell her I was coming or she'd wait on her lawn chair for 8hrs until I got there, worried to take a pee break incase I got there when she was inside. lol}

I let husband sleep a while, I came out of the bedroom after dealing with hair and makeup {yup, again} because my contractions weren't intense but they were enough that I couldn't sleep through them anymore. So I got myself ready, I went and watched tv, I chatted on fb with whoever was around, I emailed, etc. I remembered all of my teachings from my magical Doula the first time around- because she is now 4hrs away from me since we moved. I was calm, I was collected, I was ready.

6:20 am I decided to wake husband and he complained of course and asked if he could sleep a while longer. Well I said, no since I've been up for 2hrs already you can get your butt out of bed now. I wanted him ready incase we had to run suddenly. So I piddled around a bit more, I did iron-on transfer for the shirt I wanted Mason to wear , it said "Big Brother" and I got Mason's things organized for the hospital, because baby was giving him a gift when she arrived. I had tested positive for Strep B, so we had to go to the hospital earlier than I liked, so I could get my full dose of penicilin to keep baby safe. So we headed to the hospital around 9am, after my inlaws came over to be here for Mason. I had husband drive to McD's on our way, since I didn't eat anything before Mason came, and I was absolutely starving once he had arrived- and then husband offered me a measly dohunut. I didn't want to run into that again- so McD's full breakfast while in strong contractions it was. We walked into the hospital, I walked this time instead of wheelchair ;) , I had my McD's juice in hand and the nurses looked at me disapprovingly. "you know you're not supposed to eat before you give birth". ....ya, well...what are you going to do about it now? really. I go into triage, and wait to be called on. The nurse comes out and calls "Melissa?" ...no, I'm Emily. "Oh, what are you here for?" ..." I'm going to have a baby today". She looked me up and down, smiled, and said "sure you are honey. give me a {pee} sample and I'll check you, we'll see." ...In other words, she thought I was crazy, that I wasn't big enough to be delivering that day , etc. Well she measured me, went wide eyed and said " you're having a baby today! You're 4cm!" ... Thanks. I know.

It took some time, we waited from 9:40ish until 12pm for my doc to come in and see what was happening. Things were progressing, albeit too slowly for my liking. She was waiting for things to happen on their own, as they did so easily with Mason. I didn't want an epidural but my contractions were strong enough I was uncomfortable. I remember husband saying "don't be a super hero" and he asked the nurse for the laughing gas. I tried it and demanded she take it as it was just making me feel dizzy and drunk. I didn't know she had also shot me with demerol, I was to find this out...later.  My water wasn't breaking, and I was getting impatient, so I asked her to break my water at 1pm and she obliged. By 1:30 my active labour started and Madison was born an hour later. When Madison was born, she came out screaming, pink, and perfect. What a mightly little soul! She was beautiful , I wanted to hold her so badly and then I started to feel weird, around 10mins after her birth. I started to slur my speech, I couldn't see straight, and I was thinking fuzzy. I said to my doc, "something's wrong, why do I feel like this?" and she was getting concerned too. She looked at my chart, and saw that they had given me a dose of demerol, and she said " well...they gave you demerol to help with the pain of birth, and it didn't kick in until now- " Fan-friggen-tastic.

Took about 3hrs for the demerol to wear off, which didn't help me AT ALL during the birth process, I felt it all, even the stitch at the end...ouch. Funny thing though, I felt like the one measly stitch hurt worse than pushing a baby out.

So there she was in all her glory, all 6lbs 9oz of her, 3 weeks early. Beautiful Madison Olivia and our lives would never be the same, again.

Mason Alexander 08-08-2006

6 years ago today, I gave birth to my very first bundle of joy. Here is his birth story.


Leading up to Mason's birthday , I had read every book there was about childbirth, breastfeeding, sleeping babies, nutrition during pregnancy and infancy, the whole shabam. I had a wonderful Doula, Marlo, who was ..and still is...a (frontdesk) superstar. She was so helpful leading up to his birth, we'd walk , talk, breathe, and just be.

The night before Mason was born, I had "that feeling". I wasn't due for another 4 days, but I just knew he was coming. My doc had said a week before, that I wasn't allowed to give birth before the 8th, because he didn't get back from his cottage until the 7th and wasn't working until the 8th. I listened.

My contractions started around 4am. I sat up and grabbed my belly and had a weird feeling. I tried going back to sleep but that wasn't happening, so I got up and started packing my overnight bag ..well, re-packing- it had been packed for weeks but suddenly that I was in labour, I thought it was all wrong.

I called Marlo around 6am , and she says " nooo Em, not today!! I'm sooo sick". Thankfully, she loves me- she hopped in her car, guzzled the pepto bismol and arrived in a timely fashion. :) {thanks Mar!!!!!} We started going through the official motions around 8am. I was upstairs in the bathroom, applying my makeup... yes...makeup- the lighting in hospitals is horrid! husband was up there with me, holding my hand when I had to sit for a contraction. He was scared out of his mind, and so was I - but we were there, it was happening, and we had to be ready!

Lunch time came around, and my sister was coming over to help us. I was starved, so I asked for her to grab me a Harveys veggie burger, fries, pop, and extra pickles on the side. (Mmmmm.....I want it , now. ) She brought us all lunch, and husband started munching his as I'm hunched over on all fours, on the couch during contractions. Bless his heart, he's in my face, "how are you feeling? are you hungry at all?" ...I went from calm and serene, to mega bitch in 2 seconds. I chucked those extra pickles clear across the room and told him to get out of my face- all I could smell was burger, and hear him crunching/munching... at the moment, it was awful.

Sitting on the couch, I felt a GUSH. At the time, I didn't realize it was my water breaking- I thought I had lost control of my bladder, so I ran upstairs to the bathroom again, and asked husband to get me a change of pants- wouldn't you know....he grabbed BRIGHT PINK YOGA pants. and I was mad because they didn't match my top...

I came out of the bathroom, and demanded we go to the hospital. It was now 1:10pm and I just had that feeling that something was happening. I was right- we arrived , I was measured, and I was already 6.5cm dialated. Marlo rushed me upstairs to my birthing room, banging my legs into doorways {in a wheelchair} as we went. By the time we reached the room, I was 8.5cm and ready to go! I demanded an epidural, because I didn't know any better, and once it kicked in....at 10cm, I was all jokes with my Mc Dreamy doctor. First thing I said as he walked in the room, was " you told me to wait.....so I did!" He had just gotten back to work only a few hrs before.

Once the epidural kicked in, everything went numb. I couldn't feel a contraction, I couldn't feel the nurses or doctor touching me, everything from the waist down was numb- and baby's heart rate started to drop. People started to panic, including myself. Shit was getting crazy.

After a tiny little help of the foreceps, beautiful Mason was out {at 2:50pm}- screaming loud as ever. As the nurses were doing Mason's apgar testing, I noticed one of the nurses take his little wrist and watch it flop. *panic* I looked at husband , looked at the nurses, and said "uhm...what are you doing? why is his hand doing that?" and they tried brushing it off like it was nothing. Then they noticed , what we now call his 'baby boo-boo'. Mason was born with a gaping wound on his arm, and it was scary. We were terrified, and the random possible diagnoses that were being tossed around, were awful and devastating, especially for first time parents. I felt like Charlie Brown, with all the nurses and doctors talking but all I could hear was "wa wa wa, wa wa wa wa, wa wa wa" as I stared at my beautiful baby boy. Long and short of it- Mason was born with a Brachial Plexis injury. He had no use/control of the nerves in his hand/fingers, because coming out of the birth canal he had been squished just so that the tendons and nerves in his shoulder had been compressed. We still have no idea about the wound on his arm, that was never figured out- and his injury ended up correcting itself at about 1yr of age. His pediatrician actually cried and called his wife, when he saw Mason grab a toy with that hand. Husband and I have a hard time remembering which side it was, I believe it was his right arm, we thought he'd for sure be a lefty {just as husband and myself BOTH are} but after his injury corrected itself, he started using his right hand like a pro. Today you would never know , he ever had a struggle in his early weeks-first year of life.

I'm so proud of where he is today, a strong, confident, social, sweet, caring little man. He is creative, he is imaginative, he is smart. He's a great friend, an amazing son, and a sweet brother {....when it's good for him ;)  } .

Today is your birthday little man, and I hope you enjoy every single minute of it.

<3 Love, mummy.
xoxoxox

Image isn't everything.

In today's society, we see so many "ideal body image" messages. Its been this way since I can remember of course, and the ideals change it seems , every 5 or so years. I do love those adds on tv that have been playing for a while, the "media monkey" ad by the Concerned Children's Advertisers. It's so important that we instill confidence in young girls , and not fear. I don't want my girls growing up with skewed ideals of what they should look like, or that if they look a certain way, they'll be popular. I want my girls to be confident, strong, intelligent, independant and popular because other girls respect them and look up to them. If they're not the "popular girls" that's ok too of course- as long as they are happy with who they are and who they associate with. That goes the same for my boys too of course, but it seems girls have a stronger media influence.

Recently on facebook , someone posted a photo which had Victoria Secret models on the top, and Dove beauty campaign models on the bottom. Everyone praised the photo, saying " finally- real women are being represented in the media" and are admired for being beautiful, and normal. I beg to differ. Of course, it's wonderful to see models of all sizes represented in the media and very important. But a lot of women claim that the thin models are unhealthy, "look emaciated" , "look malnourished" , etc. Well, while I am no Victoria Secret model- {in my mind and in my mirror I am *wink* } I am thin, and some refer to me {lovingly...I hope} as "skinny bitch". That doesn't mean I'm emaciated , malnourished, or not normal. It means I eat healthy {most of the time anyway, I'm human after all.} I'm active. It means I have a high metabolism and it means I have good genes. Simple ...or as complicated, as that. I also know a lot of other women who are in the same 'grouping' as me body size, weight, type as me- and they are all healthy and strong as well. I think telling girls and women that the Dove campaign models are normal , is giving the wrong message also. Its telling those skinny girls who don't gain weight { I was that kid with the long spider legs and countable rib cage} that they are not normal, that they should gain more weight, that they are not healthy. It's telling kids that if their mothers are thin, like the top image {Vic. Secret} there is something wrong with them, and their mothers are not healthy.

So, remember everyone- that bodies come in all shapes and sizes. We need to embrace each body size for it's beauty, and we need to remember that body size does not reflect overall health. We should focus more on being healthy, and happy, than on the shape of our butt or the size of our bellies.

Lets work together in making sure our kids are happy,healthy, confident and strong. Give them the tools they need to succeed and to make the healthy choices they need. Start them making healthy choices as children- whether you have to hide the healthy stuff in the "junk" {I make my own chicken nuggets....with fresh , organic, homeade vegetable purees mixed in with the meat!} be sure your kids are getting the healthy foods they need to grow and be strong. Don't focus so much on calorie counting, or weighing yourself. Don't talk about "hot bikini babes" infront of your children. I have to smack my husband sometimes for comments he makes infront of the girls- I don't want them living up to THAT ideal either ;-)

If together we are stronger adults, our children will become stronger, more respectful teens and adults as they grow. Lets get the health cycle moving.