Thursday 26 July 2012

I've always wanted an Oak tree.

I love this quote: When we long for life without difficulties, remind us that oaks grow strong in contrary winds and diamonds are made under pressure." -Peter Marshall

I seem to keep being thrown flames from every angle, and I'm supposed to catch them and juggle them high. Well- they're burning, and I'm dropping them to the floor. I'm breathing though, and I'm walking tall. I am taking more time to gather my own thoughts and desires, giving myself 'time outs' from my daily responsibilities. I think doing this, is going to make me stronger and able to handle those flames without flintching. I've got some new developments coming up for the fall, and it means I'm going to have to make some time management changes. I'm going to need to keep business time for business, and family time for family.

I am going to have specific work times in the evening and focuss all of my attention during the day on my family , instead of popping in once in a while to "deal with one quick thing" .

Phew...I'm here, I'm strong, and I will be stronger. Get ready.

Monday 23 July 2012

Life, is very humbling.

I do a lot of reading. I read blogs, I read articles, I read life stories shared on facebook and other social media outlets. Often times, I am very humbled when I read about the health challenges other babies and children are facing. While we live our own medical challenges every day with two of our four beautiful children, we've come to manage it with ease. In the beginning though...it wasn't so easy. I did a lot of crying, I did a lot of stressing. I questioned my pregnancy, I questioned my eating habits, I questioned my relationships, I questioned the doctors, I questioned ....everything. It was a really difficult and isolating time.

Someone I went to University with, just had his first baby- {well his fiancĂ© had their baby ..} 5 weeks early and they are dealing with the challenges that come with that. I remember what that was like when Manning came 4 weeks early, not being able to touch him, smell him, feel him, breath him.  This event though, comes right around the time another friend of mine *should* be having her baby, but God had other plans. She gave birth to an angel instead and sent her sweet baby boy to Heaven.

I read a blog today about baby Oliver . He is fighting CDH with his family, and is not even a month old but going through so much. Please check out their blog and send them your prayers, your happy thoughts, your good vibes, and your love.

All of the people I've mentioned in this blog post, need enormous amounts of love. I want to warm their hearts and lift them up, I want them to cry tears of joy knowing that their story has made a difference, that their battle is inspiring.

Do you have a battle of your own? Do you blog about it? Share your blog here, and we will send you love , and prayers too.

Sunday 15 July 2012

Service Review: Rainforest Cafe.

The other day we took Mason and Mia to the city, because Madison and Manning were visiting my parents for a few days. So we had a city adventure, and had a great time. We figured we'd end the day with a special dinner at Rainforest Cafe, at Yorkdale Mall, for Mason's enjoyment.

We were amazed that it wasn't busy at all- there wasn't a line up anywhere to be seated, there were tons of empty tables, we thought- great, this will be pleasant and quick....wrong.

We sat down and someone came within seconds of our asses hitting the seat, to take our order. Come on....really?? So we said, no we need a few minutes to decide, because...we just sat down. So a few minutes, translated into disappearing for 10-15mins and then finally coming to take our orders. 30 minutes later, I had to flag down the waitress to ask where the food was, because husband wanted to get up and leave {keep in mind, we got to the restaurant around 6:45pm, with 2 kids}. Food finally comes out about 5mins after that, cold. Husband used to work in the service industry , in casual fine dining, so has no tolerance for mediocre. Calls the manager over, who saunters over in his really bad...I mean, really bad, hair piece and has nothing to say but he had to get used to the Rainforest Cafe timing {apparently all dishes take 22-30mins. puh-leeze.} and that he didn't agree  with the timing either. Did he do anything to apease the situation? Ya...he comped us an over-priced scoop of ice cream for Mason. woopty freaking do.

So, we won't be headed back there anytime soon, Mia was terrified of the thunderstorms and the elephants {we sat through 2 thunderstorms before our dinner hit the table..} anyway, which all of our kids were at her age, but yes- they got a 2 on a scale of 1-10  that day. Food, gets a 3, only because Mason loved having dinosaur shaped chicken nuggets, but the rest of the food was shitty

.

Wednesday 11 July 2012

The annoying things some people say...

Ok, so I'm young, fit, and energetic....and I also have 4 children. As you can imagine, this brings out all sorts of comments from people. Mostly, people applaud me and tell me I'm a wonderful mother {I absolutely love it when strangers compliment my parenting in public - I really do!} There are, however, some people who feel the need to interject some irritating comment, or joke, or advice when they see me.

Here are some of the annoying things I've heard { some of...not all...I don't have time to write all}


1. "you're like a real life 19 kids and counting" .... um..first, how can you compare a woman with 4 children, to a woman with 20? How on earth does that even come close to being the same?

2. "are you........done!!?"     ....not that it is any of your business whatsoever, yes our family is complete. "phew."   ..... hang on now- What?! why does that bring relief to someone else?

3. When I say that I am exhausted - which doesn't happen too often at all, but sometimes, exhaustion does hit me, hard. I get  "it was your choice to have kids" .    .. Thanks for the tip, asshole. I never said I didn't want my kids anymore, I said I was tired. here is something actually cut and pasted from my own facebook wall, a response to this very thing:
when child-less people comment that having children was my choice {or anyone else with kids for that matter} I want to smack them. Of course it was my choice to have 4 beautiful children with the love of my life, and every single day I am greatful to have them all a part of my day even when I am exhausted, even when I want to escape for a vacation to the grocery store. I still get to think about them, and smile and feel the warm fuzzies inside my heart knowing that I have 4 gorgeous babies waiting for me at home, full of innocence , love , and affection.

4. " can you, handle this many kids?"     .....again, is it any of your business? But last I checked, my children aren't running around naked, starting fires, beating other kids up, or stealing cars. My children are polite, caring, respectful, sweet, adorable, outgoing, and are all born leaders. They can also speak English and some French, and do wonderful amazing things. I can take all 4 to the grocery store and come out alive, with no extra groceries than are on my list. I can take them to the mall to pickout toys for their birthday and leave empty handed and not one tantrum.  Can you do that, with your one child?

5. "...do you have any help??"  ...what , like having more than one child means everyone should have a nanny? Although there are days I would kill to have a nanny, I do it all myself. Husband works in the city and is gone from the house for about 13hrs a day. Which means, who is on deck? that would be me. Two days a week, I have an extra 2yr old in the mix as well and I take all of them out. Yes, 5 children, I take to the splash pad, the park, the petting farm, playdates... {you can hold your aplause ;) }

6. "good to get it all over and done with" . This comment comes, because the biggest age gap between kids is 24months and 2 weeks. I had 4 babies, in a span of 5years. While husband and I didn't sit down with a calendar for 5yrs to plan out dates and timing, we wanted them close together. 15 months was a bit of a *gulp* but, in all honesty, we thought it would take longer to get pregnant, and he came early. I loved being pregnant, I had lots of fun being pregnant {until my 4th...that was interesting to say the least} the anticipation up until delivery was intense, I loved it. I also love all the stages of childhood. I don't want to get it all over and done with, I want to enjoy every minute of the day with all of my beautiful children. Having them close together, means they are in the same stages {for the most part} and we can enjoy more things together. I don't have one playing video games, one chasing girls, and one in diapers, and one never home. They are all here together, and they all love the same things- for the most part. It actually makes life a lot easier lol.


7. I thought of another thing! When people with less children {usually friends...yes, even you guys say things that irk me sometimes lol} but when they say " oh I can never complain to you about my day, I would feel too guilty since you do it so easily, with 4".   Well, I didn't always have 4 kids. I used to be a mother of 1, for two whole years. I know what it's like with one, with 2, with 3 and now with 4. I've been there, I've had the same hiccups that other parents of 1,2,3..etc have had or do have. And also...I don't always do it so easily with 4. There are days where I want to run and take refuge, there are days I want to move into a one bedroom apartment...alone (haha.) there are days where I want to buy a plane ticket to nowhere. These days are few and far between, but they do exist. So friends...you can unload about your day, because there will be days I want to unload to you, and while I don't expect you to fully understand what it's like having 4 kids, I do know, that as parents, you can relate- even in a teeny,tiny way.  <3

That's all I will put for now, when I have more time I will add more . There are many, many, many more things that I hear in a day. Mostly wonderful, kind, and respectful but you still get the ass who thinks the world revolves around them, who feels they need to put their two cents into every person's life. So for those of you who are expecting your 4th, I know there has to be some who read this blog, or even your 3rd. Be prepared for all sorts of comments- I think I get a lot of comments because mine are very close together also, but still. Just grow a thick skin, and come up with some awesome come-backs that you can just zing their way as you walk away. ;)

beautiful Mia, in her laundry basket on the dock. yes...laundry basket. :)



Monday 9 July 2012

parenting tip of the day: let them be.

Let them be....themselves, kids, anything they want to be. Too often we as parents/caregivers think we need to provide kids with everything they need to get their imaginations going. We need to intiate the game, we need to tell them what to do and when. I remember as a kid being told what colour to colour my drawing. My own drawing!! um...shouldn't that be up to me to decide? It takes way too much away from our little ones and causes way more harm than good, when we take all decision making control away from them.

I have 4 different ages , all under the same roof. This sometimes is amazingly sweet, they can be the best of friends...but they can also be the worst of enemies over something so simple as a missing lego piece that someone accuses another of stealing...until he finds it under his pillow. (oh how I love those moments....)

So as I sit here typing this, I'm watching Manning playing playdoh at the table (we made a massive batch last week, I've given up using store bought since he loves it so much but mashes it all together and leaves it to dry out most of the time ) , Madison and Mason are sitting in front of Mia {who has been sitting on her own for the last 30mins without so much of a teeter!} reading to her. But they're not reading to her together...they're now fighting for her attention. " Mia...Mia...look at me. read my book. don't look at her Mia, look at me Mia....Mia....MIA!!"  But instead of me jumping in there and instructing them what to do here, I am watching them and coaching - a little bit. I asked them to take turns reading Mia's favourite book and to show her different toys, seperately. While this doesn't always work- it's working for now and Mia is loving all the attention she's getting from her brother and sister. Their desire to be her centre of attention will come in handy this week, when Mia perfects the skill of crawling! She's so close- I will position the kids on the floor and have her crawl to them !

So- let your kids be themselves. Unless someone is bleeding, being bullied, tormented , or treated extremely unfairly- don't step in. Give them the tools to work it out- give them the language they are looking for, teach them how to handle certain situations not by removing them from the situation, but by directing {or re-directing} on what to do in such situation. You'll find me often asking questions when the kids start fighting. " How did you feel when your friend so-and-so left you out of the game last week? How do you think your sister/brother is feeling right now?" . I even give them tools for independant re-direction. If they're fighting over books or toys or whatnot, I give them the opportunity to make a choice to do something else. "If he/she doesn't want to share that book, why not look at this book? Here are some other books you can choose from, or you can just wait until that book is available".

Wednesday 4 July 2012

What's the craziest thing you've done?

Have you ever done something so out of the ordinary for yourself or as a couple that it almost scared you? I'm about to dive into my own adventure- but it's bound to be fun. I'm not going to discuss what adventure it might be- but I would love to know from my readers, what's something you've done that made you give yourself a pat on the back?

Monday 2 July 2012

Camping with colitis - the party pooper.

So we just had a wonderful long weekend. Spent it with family at the cottage, swimming, enjoying the beautiful sunshine, camp fires, fireworks, the whole bit. The part that was shitty? {literally!!} Manning's colitis. When we're somewhere that food is in abundance, and not always the healthy choices we have at home - but chips, crackers, cookies, etc. It's hard for a 2.5yr old to decipher between the spread to know what's safe and what's not. He helped himself to different gummies....wrong ones. Had a few chippies....wrong ones... and other infractions along the way , during the weekend. It results in his system just flipping inside out on him. Poor kid had so many blowouts of green {sorry for the visual!} it was heartbreaking. So this week, we will be trying to get his system back on track.

I long for the day where Manning can make these decisions on his own, and just know. Right now it's hard for him to know that one cereal is ok, but the other is not. One bag of chips is safe for him but the others are not.. At home we have a cupboard just for him and Mia. He knows , and so do the other kiddos, that anything in that cupboard is safe for Manning or Mia to eat- even without asking mummy or daddy. I'll have to bring a cooler to the cottage just for him, to have the same concept while we're there. That way if he's going to hep himself to a snack, at least he can know that anything in the red cooler is for him.

he's awfully cute though....in't he ?