Monday 8 April 2013

My best advice for parents.

Best advice ? Don't listen to other people's advice. Seriously! Stop consulting "experts" , stop paying people big money to tell you logical solutions to your problems in child rearing.

Every baby and child is different. Just like every pregnancy is different, so are the babies we grow in our wombs. What worked for baby A isn't necessarily going to work for baby B. Of course I'm not saying to shut your brain off to any and all information you can get regarding child rearing, but don't assume that Suzie who lives down the street and had a baby 4 months ago, knows anymore about baby sleep patterns than you do, as you look at your sweet little 2 week old asleep in her swing- finally.

Even after 4 kids, I'm still learning new tips and tricks just simply through observation or talking to friends. Of course I still get ideas and tips from friends, I'm not saying turn your ears and mind off to any advice offered but please don't assume that one parent knows everything and that you should follow their every tip and instruction.

I see people paying other mothers to show them how to get their baby to sleep. I know there are people who are specifically trained in this....I think. I mean, there are 'sleep doulas' and I assume they have special training to be considered a sleep doula, as opposed to a birthing doula but I'm not sure. Babies will sleep when they're tired. It's so wonderful to get them on a schedule, it's nice to have a baby who sleeps from 8pm until 3am , eats, then goes back to sleep until 9am. In a perfect world we would all have newborns like that. And then as they get older, sleep from 8pm until 8am, then 6pm until 8am {yes....sometimes my children will do this for me! without cough sirup haha} . But they don't just do that. It does take work, it does take patience and it does take strategy. It's not so much about scheduling I think, it's more the routine. Get your night time routine down and everything will fall into place when your baby is ready. People who insist they'll get your baby sleeping on a schedule in 2 days are either going to make your baby scream and cry for hours until they pass out, and advise you not to go into see them OR they're lying to you.

Unsolicited advice is the worst, in my opinion. And it's usually a bunch of crazy talk. I've had a few random strangers offer unsolicited advice and I've tried not laughing everytime. My favourite was when we were at an outdoor festival and my now 3yr old was maybe about 14months. He was a late bloomer so had just started sitting up {at 13months} and wanted to sit on the grass. I sat down with him on the grass and we had a little snack. This old woman, with firery red hair {...she wasn't fooling anyone} and lips as red as a candy apple came over to me and said " you shouldn't let your baby sit on the grass. He's going to suffer from kidney damage". I had to look around, and see if there was anyone else she was talking to. She just came up to me, and said that as her opening line. I smiled and said, thank you but I think we'll be ok. She stood there with a disapproving look on her face staring at us, waiting for me to pick him up. Instead I had my other 2 children sit on the grass next to us, while I smiled at her. She came over and said something else to me, about how it was bad for his health , yadda yadda yadda. I assured her we were safe and knew what we were doing. He's wearing a cloth diaper, sitting on the warm grass and nobody has gotten kidney damage from sitting on the lovely soft grass before...as far as I knew. I actually did start to giggle, as she kept going on her rant over how I was being rude and setting my baby up for health problems {if only she had known what we were dealing with on a daily basis..} Sitting on grass in the sunshine was the least of my worries. 

Anyway here I go, giving stupid advice after I said not to listen to it. So readers-do you like unsolicited advice, requested advice, or do you prefer learning tips along the way just from other people's stories/experience? I love when friends are telling me something and not realizing they're actually giving a tip. Brilliant. :)


No comments:

Post a Comment