Madison Olivia 8-20-2008

4 years ago today, I gave birth to my princess Madison. She came 3 weeks ahead of time, but was fierce and mighty.

The evening before her birth, I got the sudden urge to have a long hot bubble bath, shave my legs, paint my toe I remember looking my late grammy {who had passed the night of my wedding after spending some time in a coma from a fall} directly in the eyes and she said "be calm". I shot up , sat straight as a board the second she left my view- woke up. Then I had my first contraction. This was amazing, she had met Mason a few times and I have some great photos of her with him- but I really wanted her to know about Madison, and I feel like she knows. Just proves to me that she's always watching, from her lawn chair on the front lawn waiting for me to arrive , just like she used to. { I couldn't tell her I was coming or she'd wait on her lawn chair for 8hrs until I got there, worried to take a pee break incase I got there when she was inside. lol}

I let husband sleep a while, I came out of the bedroom after dealing with hair and makeup {yup, again} because my contractions weren't intense but they were enough that I couldn't sleep through them anymore. So I got myself ready, I went and watched tv, I chatted on fb with whoever was around, I emailed, etc. I remembered all of my teachings from my magical Doula the first time around- because she is now 4hrs away from me since we moved. I was calm, I was collected, I was ready.

6:20 am I decided to wake husband and he complained of course and asked if he could sleep a while longer. Well I said, no since I've been up for 2hrs already you can get your butt out of bed now. I wanted him ready incase we had to run suddenly. So I piddled around a bit more, I did iron-on transfer for the shirt I wanted Mason to wear , it said "Big Brother" and I got Mason's things organized for the hospital, because baby was giving him a gift when she arrived. I had tested positive for Strep B, so we had to go to the hospital earlier than I liked, so I could get my full dose of penicilin to keep baby safe. So we headed to the hospital around 9am, after my inlaws came over to be here for Mason. I had husband drive to McD's on our way, since I didn't eat anything before Mason came, and I was absolutely starving once he had arrived- and then husband offered me a measly dohunut. I didn't want to run into that again- so McD's full breakfast while in strong contractions it was. We walked into the hospital, I walked this time instead of wheelchair ;) , I had my McD's juice in hand and the nurses looked at me disapprovingly. "you know you're not supposed to eat before you give birth". ....ya, well...what are you going to do about it now? really. I go into triage, and wait to be called on. The nurse comes out and calls "Melissa?" ...no, I'm Emily. "Oh, what are you here for?" ..." I'm going to have a baby today". She looked me up and down, smiled, and said "sure you are honey. give me a {pee} sample and I'll check you, we'll see." ...In other words, she thought I was crazy, that I wasn't big enough to be delivering that day , etc. Well she measured me, went wide eyed and said " you're having a baby today! You're 4cm!" ... Thanks. I know.

It took some time, we waited from 9:40ish until 12pm for my doc to come in and see what was happening. Things were progressing, albeit too slowly for my liking. She was waiting for things to happen on their own, as they did so easily with Mason. I didn't want an epidural but my contractions were strong enough I was uncomfortable. I remember husband saying "don't be a super hero" and he asked the nurse for the laughing gas. I tried it and demanded she take it as it was just making me feel dizzy and drunk. I didn't know she had also shot me with demerol, I was to find this out...later.  My water wasn't breaking, and I was getting impatient, so I asked her to break my water at 1pm and she obliged. By 1:30 my active labour started and Madison was born an hour later. When Madison was born, she came out screaming, pink, and perfect. What a mightly little soul! She was beautiful , I wanted to hold her so badly and then I started to feel weird, around 10mins after her birth. I started to slur my speech, I couldn't see straight, and I was thinking fuzzy. I said to my doc, "something's wrong, why do I feel like this?" and she was getting concerned too. She looked at my chart, and saw that they had given me a dose of demerol, and she said " well...they gave you demerol to help with the pain of birth, and it didn't kick in until now- " Fan-friggen-tastic.

Took about 3hrs for the demerol to wear off, which didn't help me AT ALL during the birth process, I felt it all, even the stitch at the end...ouch. Funny thing though, I felt like the one measly stitch hurt worse than pushing a baby out.

So there she was in all her glory, all 6lbs 9oz of her, 3 weeks early. Beautiful Madison Olivia and our lives would never be the same, again.

Mason Alexander 08-08-2006

6 years ago today, I gave birth to my very first bundle of joy. Here is his birth story.


Leading up to Mason's birthday , I had read every book there was about childbirth, breastfeeding, sleeping babies, nutrition during pregnancy and infancy, the whole shabam. I had a wonderful Doula, Marlo, who was ..and still is...a (frontdesk) superstar. She was so helpful leading up to his birth, we'd walk , talk, breathe, and just be.

The night before Mason was born, I had "that feeling". I wasn't due for another 4 days, but I just knew he was coming. My doc had said a week before, that I wasn't allowed to give birth before the 8th, because he didn't get back from his cottage until the 7th and wasn't working until the 8th. I listened.

My contractions started around 4am. I sat up and grabbed my belly and had a weird feeling. I tried going back to sleep but that wasn't happening, so I got up and started packing my overnight bag ..well, re-packing- it had been packed for weeks but suddenly that I was in labour, I thought it was all wrong.

I called Marlo around 6am , and she says " nooo Em, not today!! I'm sooo sick". Thankfully, she loves me- she hopped in her car, guzzled the pepto bismol and arrived in a timely fashion. :) {thanks Mar!!!!!} We started going through the official motions around 8am. I was upstairs in the bathroom, applying my makeup... yes...makeup- the lighting in hospitals is horrid! husband was up there with me, holding my hand when I had to sit for a contraction. He was scared out of his mind, and so was I - but we were there, it was happening, and we had to be ready!

Lunch time came around, and my sister was coming over to help us. I was starved, so I asked for her to grab me a Harveys veggie burger, fries, pop, and extra pickles on the side. (Mmmmm.....I want it , now. ) She brought us all lunch, and husband started munching his as I'm hunched over on all fours, on the couch during contractions. Bless his heart, he's in my face, "how are you feeling? are you hungry at all?" ...I went from calm and serene, to mega bitch in 2 seconds. I chucked those extra pickles clear across the room and told him to get out of my face- all I could smell was burger, and hear him crunching/munching... at the moment, it was awful.

Sitting on the couch, I felt a GUSH. At the time, I didn't realize it was my water breaking- I thought I had lost control of my bladder, so I ran upstairs to the bathroom again, and asked husband to get me a change of pants- wouldn't you know....he grabbed BRIGHT PINK YOGA pants. and I was mad because they didn't match my top...

I came out of the bathroom, and demanded we go to the hospital. It was now 1:10pm and I just had that feeling that something was happening. I was right- we arrived , I was measured, and I was already 6.5cm dialated. Marlo rushed me upstairs to my birthing room, banging my legs into doorways {in a wheelchair} as we went. By the time we reached the room, I was 8.5cm and ready to go! I demanded an epidural, because I didn't know any better, and once it kicked in....at 10cm, I was all jokes with my Mc Dreamy doctor. First thing I said as he walked in the room, was " you told me to wait.....so I did!" He had just gotten back to work only a few hrs before.

Once the epidural kicked in, everything went numb. I couldn't feel a contraction, I couldn't feel the nurses or doctor touching me, everything from the waist down was numb- and baby's heart rate started to drop. People started to panic, including myself. Shit was getting crazy.

After a tiny little help of the foreceps, beautiful Mason was out {at 2:50pm}- screaming loud as ever. As the nurses were doing Mason's apgar testing, I noticed one of the nurses take his little wrist and watch it flop. *panic* I looked at husband , looked at the nurses, and said "uhm...what are you doing? why is his hand doing that?" and they tried brushing it off like it was nothing. Then they noticed , what we now call his 'baby boo-boo'. Mason was born with a gaping wound on his arm, and it was scary. We were terrified, and the random possible diagnoses that were being tossed around, were awful and devastating, especially for first time parents. I felt like Charlie Brown, with all the nurses and doctors talking but all I could hear was "wa wa wa, wa wa wa wa, wa wa wa" as I stared at my beautiful baby boy. Long and short of it- Mason was born with a Brachial Plexis injury. He had no use/control of the nerves in his hand/fingers, because coming out of the birth canal he had been squished just so that the tendons and nerves in his shoulder had been compressed. We still have no idea about the wound on his arm, that was never figured out- and his injury ended up correcting itself at about 1yr of age. His pediatrician actually cried and called his wife, when he saw Mason grab a toy with that hand. Husband and I have a hard time remembering which side it was, I believe it was his right arm, we thought he'd for sure be a lefty {just as husband and myself BOTH are} but after his injury corrected itself, he started using his right hand like a pro. Today you would never know , he ever had a struggle in his early weeks-first year of life.

I'm so proud of where he is today, a strong, confident, social, sweet, caring little man. He is creative, he is imaginative, he is smart. He's a great friend, an amazing son, and a sweet brother {....when it's good for him ;)  } .

Today is your birthday little man, and I hope you enjoy every single minute of it.

<3 Love, mummy.
xoxoxox

Image isn't everything.

In today's society, we see so many "ideal body image" messages. Its been this way since I can remember of course, and the ideals change it seems , every 5 or so years. I do love those adds on tv that have been playing for a while, the "media monkey" ad by the Concerned Children's Advertisers. It's so important that we instill confidence in young girls , and not fear. I don't want my girls growing up with skewed ideals of what they should look like, or that if they look a certain way, they'll be popular. I want my girls to be confident, strong, intelligent, independant and popular because other girls respect them and look up to them. If they're not the "popular girls" that's ok too of course- as long as they are happy with who they are and who they associate with. That goes the same for my boys too of course, but it seems girls have a stronger media influence.

Recently on facebook , someone posted a photo which had Victoria Secret models on the top, and Dove beauty campaign models on the bottom. Everyone praised the photo, saying " finally- real women are being represented in the media" and are admired for being beautiful, and normal. I beg to differ. Of course, it's wonderful to see models of all sizes represented in the media and very important. But a lot of women claim that the thin models are unhealthy, "look emaciated" , "look malnourished" , etc. Well, while I am no Victoria Secret model- {in my mind and in my mirror I am *wink* } I am thin, and some refer to me {lovingly...I hope} as "skinny bitch". That doesn't mean I'm emaciated , malnourished, or not normal. It means I eat healthy {most of the time anyway, I'm human after all.} I'm active. It means I have a high metabolism and it means I have good genes. Simple ...or as complicated, as that. I also know a lot of other women who are in the same 'grouping' as me body size, weight, type as me- and they are all healthy and strong as well. I think telling girls and women that the Dove campaign models are normal , is giving the wrong message also. Its telling those skinny girls who don't gain weight { I was that kid with the long spider legs and countable rib cage} that they are not normal, that they should gain more weight, that they are not healthy. It's telling kids that if their mothers are thin, like the top image {Vic. Secret} there is something wrong with them, and their mothers are not healthy.

So, remember everyone- that bodies come in all shapes and sizes. We need to embrace each body size for it's beauty, and we need to remember that body size does not reflect overall health. We should focus more on being healthy, and happy, than on the shape of our butt or the size of our bellies.

Lets work together in making sure our kids are happy,healthy, confident and strong. Give them the tools they need to succeed and to make the healthy choices they need. Start them making healthy choices as children- whether you have to hide the healthy stuff in the "junk" {I make my own chicken nuggets....with fresh , organic, homeade vegetable purees mixed in with the meat!} be sure your kids are getting the healthy foods they need to grow and be strong. Don't focus so much on calorie counting, or weighing yourself. Don't talk about "hot bikini babes" infront of your children. I have to smack my husband sometimes for comments he makes infront of the girls- I don't want them living up to THAT ideal either ;-)

If together we are stronger adults, our children will become stronger, more respectful teens and adults as they grow. Lets get the health cycle moving.

I've always wanted an Oak tree.

I love this quote: When we long for life without difficulties, remind us that oaks grow strong in contrary winds and diamonds are made under pressure." -Peter Marshall

I seem to keep being thrown flames from every angle, and I'm supposed to catch them and juggle them high. Well- they're burning, and I'm dropping them to the floor. I'm breathing though, and I'm walking tall. I am taking more time to gather my own thoughts and desires, giving myself 'time outs' from my daily responsibilities. I think doing this, is going to make me stronger and able to handle those flames without flintching. I've got some new developments coming up for the fall, and it means I'm going to have to make some time management changes. I'm going to need to keep business time for business, and family time for family.

I am going to have specific work times in the evening and focuss all of my attention during the day on my family , instead of popping in once in a while to "deal with one quick thing" .

Phew...I'm here, I'm strong, and I will be stronger. Get ready.

Life, is very humbling.

I do a lot of reading. I read blogs, I read articles, I read life stories shared on facebook and other social media outlets. Often times, I am very humbled when I read about the health challenges other babies and children are facing. While we live our own medical challenges every day with two of our four beautiful children, we've come to manage it with ease. In the beginning though...it wasn't so easy. I did a lot of crying, I did a lot of stressing. I questioned my pregnancy, I questioned my eating habits, I questioned my relationships, I questioned the doctors, I questioned ....everything. It was a really difficult and isolating time.

Someone I went to University with, just had his first baby- {well his fiancé had their baby ..} 5 weeks early and they are dealing with the challenges that come with that. I remember what that was like when Manning came 4 weeks early, not being able to touch him, smell him, feel him, breath him.  This event though, comes right around the time another friend of mine *should* be having her baby, but God had other plans. She gave birth to an angel instead and sent her sweet baby boy to Heaven.

I read a blog today about baby Oliver . He is fighting CDH with his family, and is not even a month old but going through so much. Please check out their blog and send them your prayers, your happy thoughts, your good vibes, and your love.

All of the people I've mentioned in this blog post, need enormous amounts of love. I want to warm their hearts and lift them up, I want them to cry tears of joy knowing that their story has made a difference, that their battle is inspiring.

Do you have a battle of your own? Do you blog about it? Share your blog here, and we will send you love , and prayers too.

Service Review: Rainforest Cafe.

The other day we took Mason and Mia to the city, because Madison and Manning were visiting my parents for a few days. So we had a city adventure, and had a great time. We figured we'd end the day with a special dinner at Rainforest Cafe, at Yorkdale Mall, for Mason's enjoyment.

We were amazed that it wasn't busy at all- there wasn't a line up anywhere to be seated, there were tons of empty tables, we thought- great, this will be pleasant and quick....wrong.

We sat down and someone came within seconds of our asses hitting the seat, to take our order. Come on....really?? So we said, no we need a few minutes to decide, because...we just sat down. So a few minutes, translated into disappearing for 10-15mins and then finally coming to take our orders. 30 minutes later, I had to flag down the waitress to ask where the food was, because husband wanted to get up and leave {keep in mind, we got to the restaurant around 6:45pm, with 2 kids}. Food finally comes out about 5mins after that, cold. Husband used to work in the service industry , in casual fine dining, so has no tolerance for mediocre. Calls the manager over, who saunters over in his really bad...I mean, really bad, hair piece and has nothing to say but he had to get used to the Rainforest Cafe timing {apparently all dishes take 22-30mins. puh-leeze.} and that he didn't agree  with the timing either. Did he do anything to apease the situation? Ya...he comped us an over-priced scoop of ice cream for Mason. woopty freaking do.

So, we won't be headed back there anytime soon, Mia was terrified of the thunderstorms and the elephants {we sat through 2 thunderstorms before our dinner hit the table..} anyway, which all of our kids were at her age, but yes- they got a 2 on a scale of 1-10  that day. Food, gets a 3, only because Mason loved having dinosaur shaped chicken nuggets, but the rest of the food was shitty

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The annoying things some people say...

Ok, so I'm young, fit, and energetic....and I also have 4 children. As you can imagine, this brings out all sorts of comments from people. Mostly, people applaud me and tell me I'm a wonderful mother {I absolutely love it when strangers compliment my parenting in public - I really do!} There are, however, some people who feel the need to interject some irritating comment, or joke, or advice when they see me.

Here are some of the annoying things I've heard { some of...not all...I don't have time to write all}


1. "you're like a real life 19 kids and counting" .... um..first, how can you compare a woman with 4 children, to a woman with 20? How on earth does that even come close to being the same?

2. "are you........done!!?"     ....not that it is any of your business whatsoever, yes our family is complete. "phew."   ..... hang on now- What?! why does that bring relief to someone else?

3. When I say that I am exhausted - which doesn't happen too often at all, but sometimes, exhaustion does hit me, hard. I get  "it was your choice to have kids" .    .. Thanks for the tip, asshole. I never said I didn't want my kids anymore, I said I was tired. here is something actually cut and pasted from my own facebook wall, a response to this very thing:
when child-less people comment that having children was my choice {or anyone else with kids for that matter} I want to smack them. Of course it was my choice to have 4 beautiful children with the love of my life, and every single day I am greatful to have them all a part of my day even when I am exhausted, even when I want to escape for a vacation to the grocery store. I still get to think about them, and smile and feel the warm fuzzies inside my heart knowing that I have 4 gorgeous babies waiting for me at home, full of innocence , love , and affection.

4. " can you, handle this many kids?"     .....again, is it any of your business? But last I checked, my children aren't running around naked, starting fires, beating other kids up, or stealing cars. My children are polite, caring, respectful, sweet, adorable, outgoing, and are all born leaders. They can also speak English and some French, and do wonderful amazing things. I can take all 4 to the grocery store and come out alive, with no extra groceries than are on my list. I can take them to the mall to pickout toys for their birthday and leave empty handed and not one tantrum.  Can you do that, with your one child?

5. "...do you have any help??"  ...what , like having more than one child means everyone should have a nanny? Although there are days I would kill to have a nanny, I do it all myself. Husband works in the city and is gone from the house for about 13hrs a day. Which means, who is on deck? that would be me. Two days a week, I have an extra 2yr old in the mix as well and I take all of them out. Yes, 5 children, I take to the splash pad, the park, the petting farm, playdates... {you can hold your aplause ;) }

6. "good to get it all over and done with" . This comment comes, because the biggest age gap between kids is 24months and 2 weeks. I had 4 babies, in a span of 5years. While husband and I didn't sit down with a calendar for 5yrs to plan out dates and timing, we wanted them close together. 15 months was a bit of a *gulp* but, in all honesty, we thought it would take longer to get pregnant, and he came early. I loved being pregnant, I had lots of fun being pregnant {until my 4th...that was interesting to say the least} the anticipation up until delivery was intense, I loved it. I also love all the stages of childhood. I don't want to get it all over and done with, I want to enjoy every minute of the day with all of my beautiful children. Having them close together, means they are in the same stages {for the most part} and we can enjoy more things together. I don't have one playing video games, one chasing girls, and one in diapers, and one never home. They are all here together, and they all love the same things- for the most part. It actually makes life a lot easier lol.


7. I thought of another thing! When people with less children {usually friends...yes, even you guys say things that irk me sometimes lol} but when they say " oh I can never complain to you about my day, I would feel too guilty since you do it so easily, with 4".   Well, I didn't always have 4 kids. I used to be a mother of 1, for two whole years. I know what it's like with one, with 2, with 3 and now with 4. I've been there, I've had the same hiccups that other parents of 1,2,3..etc have had or do have. And also...I don't always do it so easily with 4. There are days where I want to run and take refuge, there are days I want to move into a one bedroom apartment...alone (haha.) there are days where I want to buy a plane ticket to nowhere. These days are few and far between, but they do exist. So friends...you can unload about your day, because there will be days I want to unload to you, and while I don't expect you to fully understand what it's like having 4 kids, I do know, that as parents, you can relate- even in a teeny,tiny way.  <3

That's all I will put for now, when I have more time I will add more . There are many, many, many more things that I hear in a day. Mostly wonderful, kind, and respectful but you still get the ass who thinks the world revolves around them, who feels they need to put their two cents into every person's life. So for those of you who are expecting your 4th, I know there has to be some who read this blog, or even your 3rd. Be prepared for all sorts of comments- I think I get a lot of comments because mine are very close together also, but still. Just grow a thick skin, and come up with some awesome come-backs that you can just zing their way as you walk away. ;)

beautiful Mia, in her laundry basket on the dock. yes...laundry basket. :)