September 3rd can't come soon enough.....

.....or can it ?? I know what you're thinking. All of my teacher friends are cursing me right now as they read this headline. Hear me out!!!....I've heard, since June 28th or so..."mum...I'm booooored!" . Yes, the never ending boredom battle. Does it end? I remember it well from when I was a child...but I swear, I really WAS bored...what, with the pool, hot tub, horses, dogs, acres of land to explore, ample area to build secret forts and passageways, discover "new species", rescue injured animals...etc. You get the picture...I remember the boredom well and I remember what my parents would say. "it must be so hard being you. When I was a kid, I didn't have any of the things you have and I managed to make it through". I stop myself from saying this , as I'm itching with irritation hearing my (now) 7 year old whine these words, often through clenched teeth and a rag-doll hunch.

We have been to the park, splash pads, swimming, farms, the cottage, had multiple playdates, dinners out, picnics, I taught him to ride his bike, etc. Never are we not doing anything, but yet...the child remains bored. I'm convinced, kids just say it...to say it. So- this means I put September 3rd on the calendar, with hearts and stars and circles and excitement....when I get my calendar, in December!

Although I'm very excited and ready for September 3rd to happen...I sort of want to slow it down, too. As of September 3rd, I'll have a 2nd grader, an SK'er and a JK'er....and the very next day, my baby turns 2. When did this all happen?? I didn't give them permission to get older. I didn't. I'd like it to stop.

~Em.


***unrelated....but remember when I said I wanted to zip line?! Well we did it. this past weekend, and it was AMAH-ZING. loved it, and I loved that I survived (albeit with a few profanities...but I would like to point out, I apologized BEFORE taking the plunge, for any language that may spew out of my mouth) a 40ft drop on a ROPE, free fall, 40 feet....holy mother of pearl....I did it, and it was glorious. ****

Exclusive Mommyhood

What the whaaaat? Ya you heard me. I'm sure there are people reading this who know what I'm talking about. It seems women can't escape their teenaged girl phase...like...ever ;-) I've been pretty good at avoiding the exclusive mom's clubs but they're everywhere. Secret clubs, secret groups, secret playgroups. You have to be approve by so-and-so to get in, and nobody's allowed to actually talk about the group openly, you have to be 'invited' into a conversation about it. Are you following me? Yes, there are hoops to jump through, simply to be social with "like-minded" mothers.

So what's the deal? Why can't we all just play nicely together? Why do we need to be secretive and exclusive, instead of encouraging INCLUSIVE habits like we preach to our children everyday. I'm not against these exclusive groups entirely, sometimes depending on what the group is about, it need to be exclusive in order to keep numbers down {like dinner clubs, wine groups, poker clubs} based on who's hosting and how much space they have in their house. But so keep numbers down...why do people need to be 'approved' to get in one week?

Why can't mother's get out of that teenaged girl phase...like, as if. I mean, idk why there has to be one ring leader and who actually decides on the ring leader? It all seems really silly to me.

New chapter!

It's official... I'm going to become a runner. I'm not running from the law, or running the border or running from children....I'm going to RUN. I've been contemplating for a while now, but just wasn't sure if I was ready for it. A friend of mine helped nudge me in the right direction when he shared a link to an upcoming 5k race in Toronto....I'm signing up! It looks amazing. AND it's not a timed race so I figure it's a good starting point. Color Me Rad is coming to Toronto! It's also the day before my 6th anniversary with my husband, so I figure running from him....is great irony for the day. If my wedding dress didn't weigh so much, it'd be even funnier to run wearing that.

So this is me admitting to the world, that I'm going to start running. Hold me accountable, and ask if I've run every Monday night (I'm signing up with a clinic) . 30 is all about doing things I've always been too scared to do before. Here I go.....watch me run! ;-)

look at me go!

Two posts in one night. Phew.

Just wanted to post a little something saying, I'm applying for a big-girl job after many years of simply doing my own thing (which I enjoy very much and am continuing to do lol) but yes... applying to a real life big girl job. It's in social media/online/blogging kinda stuff. I think it's up my ally...no?

Cheers!

This is how I feel. Though I wish I had those rainboots...they'd be great for my interview. Thanks to this random cute little blog I stumbled upon, for this picture.

My best advice for parents.

Best advice ? Don't listen to other people's advice. Seriously! Stop consulting "experts" , stop paying people big money to tell you logical solutions to your problems in child rearing.

Every baby and child is different. Just like every pregnancy is different, so are the babies we grow in our wombs. What worked for baby A isn't necessarily going to work for baby B. Of course I'm not saying to shut your brain off to any and all information you can get regarding child rearing, but don't assume that Suzie who lives down the street and had a baby 4 months ago, knows anymore about baby sleep patterns than you do, as you look at your sweet little 2 week old asleep in her swing- finally.

Even after 4 kids, I'm still learning new tips and tricks just simply through observation or talking to friends. Of course I still get ideas and tips from friends, I'm not saying turn your ears and mind off to any advice offered but please don't assume that one parent knows everything and that you should follow their every tip and instruction.

I see people paying other mothers to show them how to get their baby to sleep. I know there are people who are specifically trained in this....I think. I mean, there are 'sleep doulas' and I assume they have special training to be considered a sleep doula, as opposed to a birthing doula but I'm not sure. Babies will sleep when they're tired. It's so wonderful to get them on a schedule, it's nice to have a baby who sleeps from 8pm until 3am , eats, then goes back to sleep until 9am. In a perfect world we would all have newborns like that. And then as they get older, sleep from 8pm until 8am, then 6pm until 8am {yes....sometimes my children will do this for me! without cough sirup haha} . But they don't just do that. It does take work, it does take patience and it does take strategy. It's not so much about scheduling I think, it's more the routine. Get your night time routine down and everything will fall into place when your baby is ready. People who insist they'll get your baby sleeping on a schedule in 2 days are either going to make your baby scream and cry for hours until they pass out, and advise you not to go into see them OR they're lying to you.

Unsolicited advice is the worst, in my opinion. And it's usually a bunch of crazy talk. I've had a few random strangers offer unsolicited advice and I've tried not laughing everytime. My favourite was when we were at an outdoor festival and my now 3yr old was maybe about 14months. He was a late bloomer so had just started sitting up {at 13months} and wanted to sit on the grass. I sat down with him on the grass and we had a little snack. This old woman, with firery red hair {...she wasn't fooling anyone} and lips as red as a candy apple came over to me and said " you shouldn't let your baby sit on the grass. He's going to suffer from kidney damage". I had to look around, and see if there was anyone else she was talking to. She just came up to me, and said that as her opening line. I smiled and said, thank you but I think we'll be ok. She stood there with a disapproving look on her face staring at us, waiting for me to pick him up. Instead I had my other 2 children sit on the grass next to us, while I smiled at her. She came over and said something else to me, about how it was bad for his health , yadda yadda yadda. I assured her we were safe and knew what we were doing. He's wearing a cloth diaper, sitting on the warm grass and nobody has gotten kidney damage from sitting on the lovely soft grass before...as far as I knew. I actually did start to giggle, as she kept going on her rant over how I was being rude and setting my baby up for health problems {if only she had known what we were dealing with on a daily basis..} Sitting on grass in the sunshine was the least of my worries. 

Anyway here I go, giving stupid advice after I said not to listen to it. So readers-do you like unsolicited advice, requested advice, or do you prefer learning tips along the way just from other people's stories/experience? I love when friends are telling me something and not realizing they're actually giving a tip. Brilliant. :)

dropped the ball on that one!!

Well here we are...2 days after I turned 30 and my last blog post was in January. Sorry folks...I'm not perfect. (but pssssst...neither are you ;-)   )

So yes here we are, I'm 30 now. THIRTY. I think when I was about 10 or so , I thought 30 was SOOOOO OLD. People who were 30 were ancient in my mind and I'd never be one of those 30 somethings..like..ever.

Well, here I am- I'm one of those 30 somethings and you know what? It feels pretty great. I've accomplished a lot in my 30 years and I'm proud of every one of those accomplishments.

This song sort of sums it up : my next 30 years

Anyway- here I am at 30 and I realized something. All the things I used to think I knew so well, I really didn't. Everything is a learning experience, every friend I make , every friend I walk away from - or who walks away from me, every little tiny thing that I used to take for granted- everything MATTERS in the grande scheme of my life. What is the most important thing to remember? That all of the little things, whether positive or negative, it's about how they make me feel and how I respond to them. What I learn from them, how I move forward.
Sitting among my friends on my birthday I got a big smile. I realized why the world is so small. You know how you meet people and realize that somehow, somewhere you've connected before? Well lately I'm realizing my world keeps getting smaller and smaller. New people I meet- somehow they're friends with my pre-existing friends. I think that speaks wonders about my people reading skills and personality. I like good people. When good people already know and like each other..it just makes sense for us all to be friends. I say this because two of my newer friends, showed up to my party and knew my pre-existing friend and her husband. Her husband also looked at my husband and said " hey, we had class together in University! " . I love that. I love how our world turns and continues to surprise me.

Nothing has to be perfect. Of course we can dream of perfection, and strive for perfection- but really...perfection isn't what defines who we are. It's not how we measure success, it's not how we measure love. People aren't perfect, and nobody should expect them to be. Over the last year I've learned to embrace, me. I've learned to accept everything about me that I might have been self conscious about, all the little quirks and little things that make me who I am.

                                               this is what 30 looks like. {...after only one coffee..}

New Years Resolutions- Welcome 2013.

I , like many in this world, make resolutions every year. I keep them simple because I never have any habits to kick or weight to lose. They're usually like " budget" or "drive less to save on gas" or something earthy {which is easy since we cloth diaper ,etc. lol} so they're not really resolutions, they're more like....encouragement to keep doing what I'm doing.

This year, I'm making a few new resolutions.

#1: Connect more with my family in Essex County, ON. I don't see them enough, and love them all dearly. I miss my sister Sarah and my mum and dad - and now I'm losing my other sister Rachel to that city again, too!

#2: Make a household check list- I love keeping on top of my house, all the kids rooms ,etc. But with 4 little ones , a big shedding dog and a shedding cat- it can get pretty crazy. I find I'm cursing in happy words when I step on transparent, miniscule lego pieces {WTF are they even for?!!} and barbie's milkshake {you know those curse words don't you? " OUCH MOTHER OF HEN!".... or " HOLY JEEPER CREEPER!" ...yeah..I get creative}

#3: Get a killer bikini bod {...yeah ok...so I'm not that boring- I'm going to set myself a fitness goal.} Though....a fitness goal usually means you need to do some physical fitness to achieve that...so I have to find something that's not going to kill me {I think I might be allergic to 'working out' ;-)  } but with my knee issues which are STILL undiagnosed, I have to be careful....I should also stop eating the bag of Ghirardelli chocolates sitting here beside me.

#4: last but definitely not least- take more pictures. I want to be able to put some albums together of the kids- I need more and more pictures. I have many but I find they get stuck in digital format. I need to print them! I gave my parents a photo box for Christmas, it has about 60 photos of the kids and our family- they love it! I need to do that more often.

So, what resolutions did you make for yourself or your family this year?

Mia's first steps .....or is it a dinosaur.

Love

I love you

Videos of my beautiful babies.

a little light heartedness for today .

Sandy Hook #1

First of all, here are the names of the souls that were lost on Friday. I think it's important that we know their names, and remember their names instead of focussing on the hurt. Lets start with names and ages:

Names and ages of the 26 people gunned down at a Connecticut elementary school Friday in the second-deadliest school shooting in U.S. history:
Charlotte Bacon, 6
Daniel Barden, 7
Rachel Davino, 29
Olivia Engel, 6
Josephine Gay, 7
Ana Marquez-Greene, 6
Dylan Hockley, 6
Dawn Hochsprung, 47
Madeleine Hsu, 6
Catherine Hubbard, 6
Chase Kowalski, 7
Jesse Lewis, 6
James Mattioli, 6
Grace McDonnell, 7
Anne Marie Murphy, 52
Emilie Parker, 6
Jack Pinto, 6
Noah Pozner, 6
Caroline Previdi, 6
Jessica Rekos, 6
Avielle Richman, 6
Lauren Rousseau, 30
Mary Sherlach, 56
Victoria Soto,27
Benjamin Wheeler, 6
Allison Wyatt, 6

Source: Connecticut State Police

Here's a photo of some of the beautiful faces

 

I am working on my response. Stay tuned.

I'm trying to publish my next post.

I'm currently trying to write my next post. It's hard for me to write, it's bringing tears to my eyes and pain in my soul. Not just my heart- it's deep down in my soul. I'm trying to write a response to all of the tragedy at Sandy Hook this past Friday. I think before I publish my response, I will start with publishing the names of all of the victims and some of the pictures of their beautiful faces. I want their families to know that we're praying for them all over the world, and that their beautiful children will never be forgotten. We need to sensationalize the victims, lets talk about their lives, lets talk about their favourite things, lets show some of their artwork , lets publish some of their hand written journal entries- lets celebrate their youth. Lets not focus on the shooter - he doesn't deserve my attention , or yours. Instead lets focus on the souls that were lost, and the problems there are in the world surrounding mental health. Lets focus on how to fix that. Lets focus on how to help.

it's all those little things...

that matter.

All those little breaths, all those little hiccups, all those little pitter patters. Those are what matter, those are my big picture, those are the things that keep me going when life around me gets hectic. I was perusing through photos last night, for a special Christmas project I'm working on {...well....have intentions of working on...soon. haha} and I saw my pregnancy photos from all 4 of my babies. My belly measuring shots, baby shower, birth , etc. All those photos bring back such vivid , wonderful memories- I loved every second of being pregnant. I loved feeling those first flutters and wondering if I'm just gassy from something I ate or if it was the baby kicking. As those kicks got stronger and the feet would lodge in my ribs..although it was painful, I still held every moment dear to my heart.

I look at all of those photos, from Mason and then Madison, followed by Manning and Mia. All their first breaths, their first visits home, etc. All different in many ways but very similar. I couldn't get over how much personality my babies all had at very early ages- such joy and happiness and character! I couldn't help but smile....and I felt a tear run down my cheek as my heart started beating so hard it wanted to jump out of my chest. It was then, that it dawned on me- my heart walks around outside my body everyday...in 4 beautiful little creatures I so proudly call my own. They are my heart and my soul, they are my best friends {or B.F.Fs as they call it } "forever and ever and ever ".

Mia is sick right now with a nasty little head cold- she thinks this gives her freedom to stay up way past her bed time! At first I dreaded her late night wake ups and bursts of energy..but here I sit, while she sings and dances in my lap, just laughing. She's having a phone conversation with herself and thinking she is the funniest person on the planet. Although she isn't talking yet, my heart melted when I looked her in her adorable blue eyes and said " I love you". She gazed right back into my eyes and leaned in and planted a kiss on my lips, three times in a row. If that's not love....I don't know what is.

Merry Freaking Christmas.

To all the Martha's out there, I'm clapping my hands for you. You know you who are- the mums who are on Pinterest every waking moment creating albums. Not only are you creating the albums, but you're completing the projects, and you're completing them well. You have special little cards for every morning of December leading up to Christmas, you have a easy grab craft for your kid to do every day after school, you have your kids lunch cut into themed shapes every day- you shape your pasta on the plate like a freaking Christmas tree. Well, here I am clapping my hands in your honour. No.....no that's not right, I am raising my glass of wine to you- congrats to you.

I'm kind of joking, kind of not. I love Pinterest, I browse it all the time and compile my little "Pins" and boards. I have made things I've seen on Pinterest, and I've posted some of my own creations on there. But this month, December, I feel like a creative failure. I'm so busy with everythign this month, that my kids advent calendar has only been filled 3 times. I don't have a themed craft for them to do everyday. I haven't made any Christmas tree shaped lunches and I haven't wrapped a new book for them to open every day.

How about you mums who have an Elf on the Shelf? This phenomenon is insane! My facebook page is littered with mischievous little Elf with various names. He gets into so much trouble- and where do a lot of these parents find the ideas? Pinterest. I had every intention of getting an Elf this year, but they sold out FAST. I thought about ordering online... but then I thought, I would probably forget to move him and then the concept would be lost. We have Santa on speed dial here, and when the kids misbehave- I call him to make sure he was watching. Works like a charm, they're terrified...it's hard not to laugh. The Toothfairy is also on speed dial, as is the Easter Bunny.

How on earth do you have time to keep the creativity going in your house? A lot of the people I know with an Elf, work full time and have 2-3 kids of their own. I absolutely love that you're doing that for your kids, and keeping it exciting. I feel like a failure in the mum department that I'm not doing all these cute little festive things that have swept the world, it seems. Am I crazy? I see people's elves wrapping their Christmas tree in toilet paper- and I think "what a waste of t.p!! that's money down the drain!" ...... he made a mess of cheerios all over the floor? "why would you waste that cereal like that?!" ...I'm just not built for the torture, I guess that's what being married to an accountant does to you ;-) {did you know that toilet paper isn't really on sale unless you're paying less than 21 cents a roll? ........he actually does the math in his head before putting the package in the cart}.

So to all of you creative parents out there, or caregivers- I tip my figurative hat to you, and raise my glass of eggnog. I'm glad people like you exist....but I hate you all the same. ;-)

Merry Freaking Christmas.

My kids are so bossy!

I love it when I have something of my own and 'hide' it, in my pocket, my purse, my closet- wherever. The point is...I have hidden it making it- OFF LIMITS. My kids however, think the opposite.

They know that I sometimes stash things- usually treats- once in a while so they hunt them out. They're like sniffer dogs searching for drugs. They can smell something sweet on your breath, they can smell a cookie on your hands and they can notice the teensiest, tiniest crumb and ask where it came from.

my favourite tip I get from Madison dearest, when she finds something {....by opening, digging, emptying my purse} and I say "hey! get outta there, that's just for mummy!" she loves to respond with " well, you shouldn't have put them in there". No...Madison would rather I put them in HER bag or better yet, her mouth.

Thanks tips....thanks.

So apparently, I totally suck.

You know my whole goal of writing my blog every single day? ya...well, as you've all noticed- I blew that one.

So the holiday season is among us. Yes, it's just November..{oh and Happy Birthday to my little man, he just turned 3yrs old yesterday! :) - I need to post 2 birth stories to even out the score..they'll come within the next few days I think}, but my Christmas tree is already up and decorated, my house is full of pointsettias {which...I actually can't stand cause they die so damned easily- and are one extra thing for me to take care of...wait no....3 extra things for me to take care of!} my wreaths are up, the Christmas music plays in the background all day long...you get the picture. You would think though, walking into my Christmas wonderland, that I'm done or even....close to being done, my Christmas shopping. WRONG. I have one gift, because I won it in a raffle. That's it. I love online shopping- I hate going into stores now, because I have 4 busy kids and by the time hubby gets home for me to shop in the eve, I'm too damned tired and don't want to be at the mall until closing. I also love online because I can shop on sites like www.etsy.com and find totally unique gifts made by artisans making a living from home. I love supporting small business owners, and crafters. Last year I got some great stuff from Australia, U.SA, and Canada. Only problem was....that it took forever to get here so I had to give some gifts AFTER Christmas.

So I'm on the hunt for some amazing and unique gifts for my whole family. We follow the: Something to read, something you need, something you wear, and something you want. Santa brings one big gift per kiddo and fills a stocking with wonderful things like new toothbrushes, new undies, new socks,etc. Isn't he generous. ;-)

I will post here when I find some great things, maybe help everyone else find some creative inspiration.

Ho,Ho,Ho!!

October is ....

Infant loss and awareness month. Sadly I know too many families who are reminded of this, every single year as they miss that pitter patter that *should* have filled their lives at some point of another.

October is a month where we share stories, learn about new stories, and just...remember. Remember the lives that touched us so briefly- whether they were born asleep, or not born at all- even those who were born awake but taken far too soon. I have been indirectly touched by so many angels , their stories, the excitement in their announcements and ultrasounds, only to be followed by my soaked shoulder when their mama was told their fate. It's not a nice club to be a part of for those families, but I'm sure they appreciate knowing, they are not alone. Nobody is ever alone in this life, we are all in this together.

So here are a few beautiful quotes I found to commemmorate October's Infant loss and awareness month.

“No one can know how much I love you, because you are the only one who knows what my heart sounds like from the inside.”   - author unknown.

 ‎”For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.” -Psalm 139: 13-16

”A person’s a person, no matter how small.” -Dr Seuss

“Some say you’re too painful to remember. I say you’re too precious to forget.” -author unknown

“An angel, in the Book of Life, wrote down my baby’s birth. Then whispered as he closed the book, Too beautiful for Earth.” -author unknown

“How very quietly you tiptoed into our world, silently, only a moment you stayed. But what an imprint your footprints have left upon our hearts.’” -Unknown

“Do not judge the bereaved mother.
She comes in many forms.
She is breathing, but she is dying.
She may look young, but inside she has become ancient.
She smiles, but her heart sobs.
She walks, she talks, she cooks, she cleans, she works, she IS,
but she IS NOT, all at once.
She is here, but part of her is elsewhere for eternity.” -author unkown

 

To everyone, everywhere- if you are reminded this month of a little bean that never came to be, that went to Heaven too soon- I am sending you a big virtual hug. You can lean on me, and weap, we can laugh, we can drink a glass of wine. I send my love to each and every one of you today and always as you cope, struggle, surpress. My heart is for you. <3  Em xoxox.

I'm ba-aaaack !!

Get ready readers,

I'm back to my daily postings now that we're in the school year. The summer was insane, a good insane, but insane none the less. We were so busy running from place to place I hardly had time to breathe.

So we're in the swing of school now- I have two full time kiddos. Madison started today for the very first full day, got on the bus this morning and took it home tonight. She is such an independant little firecracker....it amazes me. And of course- first day of school means she comes home with buttons missing from her brand new denim jumper and holes in the knees of her tights. That's my girl.

Madison Olivia 8-20-2008

4 years ago today, I gave birth to my princess Madison. She came 3 weeks ahead of time, but was fierce and mighty.

The evening before her birth, I got the sudden urge to have a long hot bubble bath, shave my legs, paint my toe I remember looking my late grammy {who had passed the night of my wedding after spending some time in a coma from a fall} directly in the eyes and she said "be calm". I shot up , sat straight as a board the second she left my view- woke up. Then I had my first contraction. This was amazing, she had met Mason a few times and I have some great photos of her with him- but I really wanted her to know about Madison, and I feel like she knows. Just proves to me that she's always watching, from her lawn chair on the front lawn waiting for me to arrive , just like she used to. { I couldn't tell her I was coming or she'd wait on her lawn chair for 8hrs until I got there, worried to take a pee break incase I got there when she was inside. lol}

I let husband sleep a while, I came out of the bedroom after dealing with hair and makeup {yup, again} because my contractions weren't intense but they were enough that I couldn't sleep through them anymore. So I got myself ready, I went and watched tv, I chatted on fb with whoever was around, I emailed, etc. I remembered all of my teachings from my magical Doula the first time around- because she is now 4hrs away from me since we moved. I was calm, I was collected, I was ready.

6:20 am I decided to wake husband and he complained of course and asked if he could sleep a while longer. Well I said, no since I've been up for 2hrs already you can get your butt out of bed now. I wanted him ready incase we had to run suddenly. So I piddled around a bit more, I did iron-on transfer for the shirt I wanted Mason to wear , it said "Big Brother" and I got Mason's things organized for the hospital, because baby was giving him a gift when she arrived. I had tested positive for Strep B, so we had to go to the hospital earlier than I liked, so I could get my full dose of penicilin to keep baby safe. So we headed to the hospital around 9am, after my inlaws came over to be here for Mason. I had husband drive to McD's on our way, since I didn't eat anything before Mason came, and I was absolutely starving once he had arrived- and then husband offered me a measly dohunut. I didn't want to run into that again- so McD's full breakfast while in strong contractions it was. We walked into the hospital, I walked this time instead of wheelchair ;) , I had my McD's juice in hand and the nurses looked at me disapprovingly. "you know you're not supposed to eat before you give birth". ....ya, well...what are you going to do about it now? really. I go into triage, and wait to be called on. The nurse comes out and calls "Melissa?" ...no, I'm Emily. "Oh, what are you here for?" ..." I'm going to have a baby today". She looked me up and down, smiled, and said "sure you are honey. give me a {pee} sample and I'll check you, we'll see." ...In other words, she thought I was crazy, that I wasn't big enough to be delivering that day , etc. Well she measured me, went wide eyed and said " you're having a baby today! You're 4cm!" ... Thanks. I know.

It took some time, we waited from 9:40ish until 12pm for my doc to come in and see what was happening. Things were progressing, albeit too slowly for my liking. She was waiting for things to happen on their own, as they did so easily with Mason. I didn't want an epidural but my contractions were strong enough I was uncomfortable. I remember husband saying "don't be a super hero" and he asked the nurse for the laughing gas. I tried it and demanded she take it as it was just making me feel dizzy and drunk. I didn't know she had also shot me with demerol, I was to find this out...later.  My water wasn't breaking, and I was getting impatient, so I asked her to break my water at 1pm and she obliged. By 1:30 my active labour started and Madison was born an hour later. When Madison was born, she came out screaming, pink, and perfect. What a mightly little soul! She was beautiful , I wanted to hold her so badly and then I started to feel weird, around 10mins after her birth. I started to slur my speech, I couldn't see straight, and I was thinking fuzzy. I said to my doc, "something's wrong, why do I feel like this?" and she was getting concerned too. She looked at my chart, and saw that they had given me a dose of demerol, and she said " well...they gave you demerol to help with the pain of birth, and it didn't kick in until now- " Fan-friggen-tastic.

Took about 3hrs for the demerol to wear off, which didn't help me AT ALL during the birth process, I felt it all, even the stitch at the end...ouch. Funny thing though, I felt like the one measly stitch hurt worse than pushing a baby out.

So there she was in all her glory, all 6lbs 9oz of her, 3 weeks early. Beautiful Madison Olivia and our lives would never be the same, again.

Mason Alexander 08-08-2006

6 years ago today, I gave birth to my very first bundle of joy. Here is his birth story.


Leading up to Mason's birthday , I had read every book there was about childbirth, breastfeeding, sleeping babies, nutrition during pregnancy and infancy, the whole shabam. I had a wonderful Doula, Marlo, who was ..and still is...a (frontdesk) superstar. She was so helpful leading up to his birth, we'd walk , talk, breathe, and just be.

The night before Mason was born, I had "that feeling". I wasn't due for another 4 days, but I just knew he was coming. My doc had said a week before, that I wasn't allowed to give birth before the 8th, because he didn't get back from his cottage until the 7th and wasn't working until the 8th. I listened.

My contractions started around 4am. I sat up and grabbed my belly and had a weird feeling. I tried going back to sleep but that wasn't happening, so I got up and started packing my overnight bag ..well, re-packing- it had been packed for weeks but suddenly that I was in labour, I thought it was all wrong.

I called Marlo around 6am , and she says " nooo Em, not today!! I'm sooo sick". Thankfully, she loves me- she hopped in her car, guzzled the pepto bismol and arrived in a timely fashion. :) {thanks Mar!!!!!} We started going through the official motions around 8am. I was upstairs in the bathroom, applying my makeup... yes...makeup- the lighting in hospitals is horrid! husband was up there with me, holding my hand when I had to sit for a contraction. He was scared out of his mind, and so was I - but we were there, it was happening, and we had to be ready!

Lunch time came around, and my sister was coming over to help us. I was starved, so I asked for her to grab me a Harveys veggie burger, fries, pop, and extra pickles on the side. (Mmmmm.....I want it , now. ) She brought us all lunch, and husband started munching his as I'm hunched over on all fours, on the couch during contractions. Bless his heart, he's in my face, "how are you feeling? are you hungry at all?" ...I went from calm and serene, to mega bitch in 2 seconds. I chucked those extra pickles clear across the room and told him to get out of my face- all I could smell was burger, and hear him crunching/munching... at the moment, it was awful.

Sitting on the couch, I felt a GUSH. At the time, I didn't realize it was my water breaking- I thought I had lost control of my bladder, so I ran upstairs to the bathroom again, and asked husband to get me a change of pants- wouldn't you know....he grabbed BRIGHT PINK YOGA pants. and I was mad because they didn't match my top...

I came out of the bathroom, and demanded we go to the hospital. It was now 1:10pm and I just had that feeling that something was happening. I was right- we arrived , I was measured, and I was already 6.5cm dialated. Marlo rushed me upstairs to my birthing room, banging my legs into doorways {in a wheelchair} as we went. By the time we reached the room, I was 8.5cm and ready to go! I demanded an epidural, because I didn't know any better, and once it kicked in....at 10cm, I was all jokes with my Mc Dreamy doctor. First thing I said as he walked in the room, was " you told me to wait.....so I did!" He had just gotten back to work only a few hrs before.

Once the epidural kicked in, everything went numb. I couldn't feel a contraction, I couldn't feel the nurses or doctor touching me, everything from the waist down was numb- and baby's heart rate started to drop. People started to panic, including myself. Shit was getting crazy.

After a tiny little help of the foreceps, beautiful Mason was out {at 2:50pm}- screaming loud as ever. As the nurses were doing Mason's apgar testing, I noticed one of the nurses take his little wrist and watch it flop. *panic* I looked at husband , looked at the nurses, and said "uhm...what are you doing? why is his hand doing that?" and they tried brushing it off like it was nothing. Then they noticed , what we now call his 'baby boo-boo'. Mason was born with a gaping wound on his arm, and it was scary. We were terrified, and the random possible diagnoses that were being tossed around, were awful and devastating, especially for first time parents. I felt like Charlie Brown, with all the nurses and doctors talking but all I could hear was "wa wa wa, wa wa wa wa, wa wa wa" as I stared at my beautiful baby boy. Long and short of it- Mason was born with a Brachial Plexis injury. He had no use/control of the nerves in his hand/fingers, because coming out of the birth canal he had been squished just so that the tendons and nerves in his shoulder had been compressed. We still have no idea about the wound on his arm, that was never figured out- and his injury ended up correcting itself at about 1yr of age. His pediatrician actually cried and called his wife, when he saw Mason grab a toy with that hand. Husband and I have a hard time remembering which side it was, I believe it was his right arm, we thought he'd for sure be a lefty {just as husband and myself BOTH are} but after his injury corrected itself, he started using his right hand like a pro. Today you would never know , he ever had a struggle in his early weeks-first year of life.

I'm so proud of where he is today, a strong, confident, social, sweet, caring little man. He is creative, he is imaginative, he is smart. He's a great friend, an amazing son, and a sweet brother {....when it's good for him ;)  } .

Today is your birthday little man, and I hope you enjoy every single minute of it.

<3 Love, mummy.
xoxoxox